Prologue
They were laughing at me again.
Not one day could go by where I could go to Shadyside High and not be laughed at by my peers. Whether they were laughing at me for my shaggy, fag haircut, or how ultra poser-ish my vesture were, I couldnt go a day at enlighten without being laughed at.
But this time, it wasnt the guys who norm wholey laughed at me, or even the class of popular girls that laughed at me usually everyday. It was a girl and her friends that wasnt conjectural to laugh at me.
dejeuner was the worst period of the day for me. worsened than gym class, where the boys shoved me to the ground in basketball, causing me to have to baby-sit out because those guys, larger then me, nearly crushed me. Lunch was worse than every subject. It was because I was forced to sit at a table alone, next to her table.
Of course, that was how I first detect her. Many guys in our school noticed her, though. Im sure I wasnt the first one. She was stunning--beautiful. A natural beauty, she didnt need to drench her establishment in make-up to look good. She was medium height, very thin, demented with the most stunning crystal blue eyes I had ever seen, and long silky dark brown hair that I however wanted to run my fingers through so badly.
On that day, I noticed, she wore ripped jeans, a tight concert t-shirt, and a duet of Converse High Tops. She looked wonderful in anything she wore. I had been watching her now since September, back when I first found my eat table.
There had been times when she had sat down at my table, being the chummy girl that she was, and she had...
I like the opening line, I think the main(prenominal) character needs a small-scale explaination ( still that could come by and by on). Oh and I dont really care for the girls name, I was a little thrown off when I got to it. A really calm down thing to do is spend some time on behindthename.com and actually pick something out that relates to the character. Just a suggestion, but other than that concur it up.
I thought the history was good, yet all of your stories are lacking the action that appeals to many readers. Not that the story was placed in an action genre, but Id write something just a little more exciting. Just voicing my opinion...
Great job...very interesting, u have a great style of writing on with an awesome imagination. keep it up
I enjoyed tuition the prologue to your new story. You have in effect captured some of the pain and awkwardness than can accompany the puerile years. Creative writing is one of the more difficult genres to get well but you seem to have a talent for it.
It is particularly difficult to write believable dialogue, although your dialogue is generally realistic. It willing be interesting to find out where you take your characters in future chapters. Keep writing!
Its the typical cliche compete over and over. But you told it very well and I enjoyed reading it. Lets see what happens next.
I thought this essay was great. It really reflected the truth in my teenage years. You are a great writer and keep it up.
I TOTALLY LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! no lie, its soo great, the story just grabs u and pulls u in! great job! i cant delay for the rest of it!
interesting story man!
i dont check this come in a lot, so email me the rest? i jazz it and i wanna know what happens next
lastlime@gmail.com
thanks
I just wanna thank all u guys both for your kind words and encouragements...I have been quite concern but ill try my best to update asap.
Great! that was really good. I cant wait to read the rest of it! I almost cried for you. Wait... this is a true story, right?
I like it
It seems like in the future(a) chapters hes gonna kill a couple of people
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